Chuck Ross has a good post up at his insightful blog about “negging” and the “White Knights” crusade (heh) against it.
he ends it this way:
In “Scott’s” attempt to white-knight, he touches on a sort of sexism that underlies the “neg”. As one commenter in Friedersdorf’s piece tries to argue, the “neg” is sexist because it implies that attractive women have to be brought down from a certain level. But I see a sort of sexism underlying the fact that White Knights don’t believe women can think for themselves. Women aren’t naïve. In fact, they’re generally savvier than men in the ways of social interaction. If she’s going with the flow of a negging suitor, she must like the cut of his jib. Cockblocking is unnecessary and increases the risk of Scott being labeled a weirdo or creeper for giving too much of a shit about it.
A few more general points about the White Knight. In particular, the modern, beta, feminized, swpl variety. The following doesn’t necessarily apply to the generally older, sometimes alpha, chivalrous type of yesteryear.
If White Knights understood the nature of the female animal(and the male animal for that matter) then they would do 1 of 2 things:
1. Accept human nature as it is, and adapt accordingly.
2. Direct their irrational emotional response to human nature and not the “players”. In other words, “don’t hate the player, hate the game”.
The White Knighting beta is a more annoying creature than the woman bashing beta. At least the latter has figured out that what he has to offer the women he desires isn’t good enough. He might have even figured female nature out to some degree and doesn’t like what he sees.
The white knight is clueless though. He thinks what women naturally like is his fawning deference. That every woman is a princess waiting for a wonderful man like Scott(the douche in Friedersdorf’s piece)to save the day and smother her with praise and compliments.
Talk about a race to the bottom. Perhaps even a “Whiter” Knight could come in and be even more obsequious, lavishing more praise and bootlicking drivel. It’s easy to see how this would get tedious and boring for the object of desire.
How convenient of them to want the ladies to desire what they are selling and not the players. Ironically, the White Knight’s “game” seeks to accomplish the same thing as the player’s game, and that is mating success. Those honest, generous, paragons of all that is good, want the same thing. They don’t simply seek to lift attractive young female’s self esteem. I know, its hard to believe.
On a conscious level they will deny this until they are blue in the face. Or make their” game” seem more noble. Some have one thing in common with many women and that is “Special Little Princess” syndrome. “I’m not like all of those other men out there that just want to use women for sex and then dump them” they say.
As Chuck says, its a bit of a soft sexism. This is what you get when you mix chivalry and modern feminism. I think there is also a bit of arrogance and pride going on. Deep down what they are saying is this:
“If this girl knew what was good for her, and wasn’t easily manipulated, this player chump wouldn’t stand a chance. I, glorious White Knight,with full understanding of the tender weak nature that you possess, but also aware of how strong and independent you are, is by far a better choice then that jerk who doesn’t hide his desire to fuck you as well as i do”.
Oh, and that female bashing beta? Chances are he had an earlier iteration as a White Knight. Years of losing out to guys with game, or one traumatic experience with a woman he was in love with, is all it takes to knock the knight off of his steed.
I excuse white knighting in men over 50 or so. They come from another time. If they are lucky enough to have remained married they have no idea about the modern women and their true natures. I happily leave them to the bliss of their ignorance. The under 40 White Knight is another species though. I avoid talk of women completely with these types. Only a catastrophic event with a woman can change them. Reason can’t.
PS: Don’t these White Knights remember elementary school? If you liked a girl you teased her and pulled her pig tails. You joked about her New Kids on the Block notebook. The “neg” is pulling pig tails all grown up. Like Chuck and many others have said; the “neg” is simply playful teasing.