Arnold the Auctioneer

Can you say gimmick?

I’m sure selling pianos, desk chairs, and 5 year old Crown Victorias will solve California’s dire predicament in no time.

No, I can’t say I am opposed to this, just the hype surrounding it.

Politicians want to look like they are “solving” problems as opposed to moving around deck chairs on a sinking ship.

After signing the order to reduce the state’s 40,000 government vehicles by 15 percent, Schwarzenegger posted a video message thanking his Twitter followers for their budget-balancing ideas, including one follower’s suggestion to autograph state-owned vehicles being put up for auction.

Arnold is quite the guy for lending his autograph to the visors of 15 of the 600 beaters the State is trying to auction off.  I know that feature would settle any lingering doubt I had about buying a car.

On Wednesday, he returned to the Web, telling viewers in an online conversation with the founders of Twitter at the company’s San Francisco headquarters that he believes autographing items would drive up prices because a signed leather jacket with the governor’s seal once fetched $30,000.

I thought this auction was supposed to be about not only raising revenue, but “providing great deals in this tough economy”.  An ugly $30,000 jacket doesn’t seem like a bargain to me.  Maybe he could spray paint his name on the hood of the car.  Think of how much value it would have then. 

People do realize that Mr. Universe’s signature isn’t worth much right?  Think of the thousands of state documents he has signed, not to mention all of the autographs.

I don’t think this idea goes far enough. Maybe Arnold could leave a few hairs in the console.  A car that comes with his DNA. Sign me up!  Perhaps he could pass gas in it.  “New car” smell has got nothing on “Arnie after a bad burrito” smell. 

Are all of those vehicles environmentally friendly?  I know the Governor is big on the environment.  You would think that these “clunkers” would be destroyed, in order to save the planet, rather than being sold to satisfy petty economic concerns.

I guess Counties or other States would have an interest in the prison uniforms. I’ve got a better idea.  Maybe MS-13, or other gangs could be sold on the idea of wearing them in the barrio.  Perhaps California could contract with them to be the exclusive provider in this new, trend setting look. It could be the Governator clothing line ala P Diddy.  If Arnold reads this, I expect full credit.  I have no doubt this lucrative opportunity could close California’s 26 billion dollar deficit.

California may have a terrible economy, but they have a Governor who can move product.  Would you trade that valuable asset for sane spending and pro growth tax policies?  Exactly. I wouldn’t either.

I hope the Constitution is amended so we can move this cash cow into the Oval Office. Maybe his 1st move could be to auction off California to help reduce the national debt.  He could even throw in a few Blackberries and dental chairs.


Filed under agw, american decline, humor, media, nanny state, politics, pop culture

2 responses to “Arnold the Auctioneer

  1. I am missing what the big deal is. It is my undestanding that states, municipalities, and federal agencies all routinely auction off surplus equipment. This includes their vehicle fleets in order to maintain newer car purchases for the bureaucrats and officials.

  2. You are right. This is very common. The reason I wrote about it, besides some lame attempts at humor at Arnies expense, was the hype surrounding this normally mundane occurrence.

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