A Glorious Natural Sexual Assault

A 45-year-old woman from Ft. Collins, Co. pleaded guilty to sexual assault on a 16-year-old boy last week.

The good…

Richael Michels, 45, will be sentenced in November. After accepting the plea bargain, Judge Dave Williams said Michels faces jail time and will be required to register as a sex offender.

She will actually do some jail time.  Imagine that.

The bad scary…

Michels was accused of having sex on multiple occasions with a 16-year-old boy with whom she developed a relationship at a Fort Collins “fur meet,” where furries gather to socialize. Police said Michels’ nickname was “Kitteh.”

WTF is a fur meet?  Well I found out.  I’ll now give you a pop quiz.

Here are your choices:

A. place you might find Andrew Sullivan

B. place you might find a glorious natural pelt

C. place you might find people who are fans of anthropomorphism

D. place you might find old school beaver trappers selling their wares

The answer is C. 

Furries are people who have an appreciation or are fans of anthropomorphism – or humanlike animal characters.

Some dress as animals while others just enjoy the artistic and spiritual aspects of anthropomorphism, according to local furries.

Witnesses told police Michels on multiple occasions kissed the boy intimately at furry gatherings, and on one occasion, a fur meet attendee told police the two engaged in sexual acts, according to an arrest affidavit.

The bad…

In court Friday, Michels told Williams that she was hospitalized following her July arrest and has been diagnosed as being bipolar.

Michels said she is now taking four prescription medications and is under the care of a psychiatrist and a therapist.

How convenient.  I’m sure this will be used in November when she is sentenced to significantly reduce her punishment.  I wonder how well this defense would go over if it was a 45-year-old man and a 16-year-old girl?  Rhetorical.

The ugly…



The beta provider…

According to the arrest affidavit, police began investigating in part because Michels’ husband told police his wife spent a “significant” amount of time online chatting with people he didn’t know.


Some thoughts…

I know I’m supposed to take this seriously.  I know I’m supposed to condemn our criminal justice system, societal double standards, and most importantly, the child raping oinker.  And I do. I want to be clearly on the record on all of that.  However, to be quite honest, I am much more interested in the sordid underground world of “furries”.

Roissy and others have said that the only endeavor that doesn’t have groupies is devotees of World of Warcraft.  I think this case provides more evidence for that assertion.  To be honest, I think a WoW convention would have more going for it than a “furry” gathering.  I would be less embarrassed about being seen at the former myself.  Barely.

I will say that the furry meeting is probably more fruitful if your goal is picking up middle aged crazy broads at the peak of menopause.  The female to male ratio has got to be 10 to 1 right?  What kind of guy goes to such a gathering?  A little bit teh gey right?

Well I found some, click here to see omegus maximusClick here for the wiki entry on furry fandom.  Looks like I am wrong.  Of the pictures I have seen, it looks to be “Star Trek looking” omega males and fat nerd girls.  All the pics indicate more males than females as well.

I really hate to pile on the poor 16-year-old, but….well, I’m guessing he isn’t exactly the captain of the football team at his high school.  Ditching practice and avoiding the cheerleaders to go to the local “furry” meeting and bang a creepy old harridan doesn’t sound like a plausible scenario.

I bet this old sow really got into the kitty role play with the inexperienced dork.  I forgot to include this gem…

Fellow fur meet attendees said Michels sometimes wore cat ears at the gatherings and that they urged her to end the relationship with the boy.

Sexy!  Imagine the picture posted above with cat ears on.  Much better huh.  She goes from a 1 to an 8 just like that.  Now that, my friends, is Girl Game. Meow.

This case might demonstrate that ugly people get treated more harshly than the good looking.  Most of the hot female child predators don’t face jail time.  The fact that these types of cases are becoming more common may result in stiffer penalties though.

Finally, does it surprise anyone that she has been chatting online with people (men) her beta provider didn’t know?  I will be curious to see if the hubby kicks this cow to the curb.  For this reason I will continue to follow the case.  I might have a budding “Beta Of The Month” candidate on my hands.

Update:  Commenter Tarl brings this to my attention.  It’s worth a look.  I now know everything I need to about the “furry” phenomenon.  Yikes.


Filed under american women, beta male, female nature, humor, Mens Issues, Uncategorized

4 responses to “A Glorious Natural Sexual Assault

  1. Tarl

    Here’s what you need to know about furries – look who is on the bottom of the geek hierarchy.

    If you’re a 16 year old dork, you’re not going to do any better than furry sex with a warpig. That boy got more sex than I did when I was 16, that’s for sure. Not that I, uh, regret not losing my virginity to a warpig…

  2. Holy crap. If only this were satire.

    Reading this post, I couldn’t help but think of Vox’s many posts on were-seal fantasy bestiality among women.

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